Reflections
by emilocodo
Summary: Various characters reflect of Fred's death and what it means to them. Please R&R!
1. Wesley

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. If I did, I would be writing episodes about them rather than fanfics:)

"_I'm not scared…I'm not scared…I'm not scared. Please, Wesley, why can't I stay?"_

Her last words chased themselves around and around in the dark recesses of Wesley's mind. He sat in his armchair drinking scotch, as he had for countless nights before. Sometimes Illyria tried to rouse him from his drunken reverie - he simply ignored her until she tired of him. It took all of his willpower just to do that, to not be overcome every time he saw her. Every time she spoke, every time she tilted her head a certain way, Wesley found his precarious grip on reality slipping. Sometimes he was almost convinced that she was there, that he hadn't lost Fred. Every one of those times, his mental line between truth and illusion became a little more blurred. Lost. What did that mean? That he'd misplaced her? That she'd run off, like a little child at a playground? "She is gone," Wesley whispered to himself. A tear slowly scored a track down his cheek.

Next chapter will be Angel's ponderings! Please R&R…


	2. Angel

Author's Note: Chapter Two is up! I know the chapters are really short, that's just how they're going to be until I get around to writing a proper ficJ

As Angel strode down the corridors of Wolfram and Hart, his thoughts turned to Illyria. His recent confrontation with her had scarred him in more ways than one. She was a constant reminder of all the people he had failed - Doyle, Cordelia, Connor…and Fred. He'd gambled, lost, and paid - with her life. Third soldier down. Angel dragged himself out of his sombre reflection and looked up to see Spike approaching. "Brilliant…" he thought. "Come to kick me while I'm down?" he asked sarcastically. The younger vampire frowned. "I know you don't like me, and I don't particularly like you, but do you have to be so bloody flippant?" Spike glanced quickly at Angel. "Can't hide behind that sarcastic tone of yours forever, mate. I know you feel it. You'd do better to follow my example, and hide behind a bottle of Jack instead." "I never want to be like you, Spike" replied Angel. He walked away, leaving Spike standing alone in the hallway. Just another reminder of all he'd lost.


	3. Gunn

Author's note: I have had a request for a Gunn chapter, so here it is…drabble number 3!

As Gunn lay in his dreary hospital bed, deep in the belly of the dragon that was Wolfram and Hart, his traitor mind turned to Fred. She was everything he was, even though their relationship was long over, she had still represented everything he had dreamed for. His hope. But he dreamed no more, he hoped no more. She was gone, her very essence destroyed in the resurrection of that blue demoness. "_God no_," he thought. "_Please, don't make me remember._" But he did remember. Remembered the triumphant, reverent smile on Knox's face. Remembered Fred's big brown eyes, and her soft, sweet voice. Remembered the grief and betrayal Wesley's face had shown, as he had rammed the knife into Gunn's stomach. "_You let her die…_" he had said. Gunn closed his eyes, and surrendered himself to the flow of guilty memories.


	4. Illyria

Whee...drabble number four!

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The shell's memories leaked into her neural pathways like a faulty petrol tank. She remembered squatting in that damp, filthy cave in Pylea, and the smell of fresh tacos. Illyria shook her head, drawing the suspicious glance of a Wolfram and Hart employee. _She _had never been in a cave in Pylea, and she had certainly never relished the odour of these objects called tacos. She could not understand why it was that Wesley mourned the shell, why his anger and hurt grew until it threatened to swallow her whenever she wore the Burkle persona. People died and were born every day in this hideous world. The shell's body was rotted through, Illyria's birth should have been something to be celebrated and welcomed. Instead she was shunned, turned away even by the body she wore.

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Not quite sure who to do next...possibly Eve or Lorne.


End file.
